i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
