He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
