my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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