That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
