If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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