well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize