Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
