Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
