he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The adults are the big ones right?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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