Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
