And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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