Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
