My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
