so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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