I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
