if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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