if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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