is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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