I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize