everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
