I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
