Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
