i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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