Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
