I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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