im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you guys were way drunker than both of me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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