Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize