Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
