Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
