i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
