Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
