he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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