that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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