you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
