If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
