You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
