So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
