I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize