that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I could make wine with my vomit
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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