everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
