this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
