i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This house was built for laser tag.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
