He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is my gift to your gina
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
