Your dad touched me again.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
