she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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