dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
