I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
