sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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