she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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