this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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