I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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