You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
