wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
