why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
