Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
