We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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