I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
