I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize