Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
