Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
