im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
