Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
