YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize