can u get pink eye on your cock?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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