its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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